his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
