She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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