soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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