i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize