Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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