The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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