He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
