Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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