Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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