This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
