We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
