I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Life is so much better after having sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
