honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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