hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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