Dual....:-)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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