fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
