I just threw up on my dentist
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
worst night to have a conscience
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
