my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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