It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
