So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize