The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
