Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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