What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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