she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
