Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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