I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
