Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
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Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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