I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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