My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
