better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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