Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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