I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
