Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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