nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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