Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
where are my eyebrows?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
