That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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