Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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