i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
