Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
