I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
