i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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