Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize