I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
