Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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