so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
