who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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