oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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