Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
