Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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