At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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