Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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