hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize