I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
