I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
