I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
