it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
