Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
